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Because it made me laugh...

The late composer John Cage's "As Slow As Possible," now being played once, lasting 639 years, at a church in Halberstadt, Germany, has so far taken 17 months just to get the organ's bellows inflated and now will take 18 months more just to play the composition's first three notes, according to a February BBC report.

Government verbiosity:
Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
The Lord's prayer: 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.
U.S. Government regulations on cabbage sales: 26,911 words.

Officials at Nevada's Yucca Mountain repository for high-level nuclear waste are struggling with a Nuclear Regulatory Commission requirement that the site post signs warning intruders of its dangers, lasting as far into the future as the year 12,000 A.D., even though no one knows whether any language now spoken on Earth will be spoken then. (The oldest known writing, Sanskrit, is about 7,000 years old.) Among the suggestions (according to a February Wall Street Journal report): drawings of someone vomiting while drilling at the site; and simply making Yucca Mountain also a global feces dump, to discourage trespassers. [Wall Street Journal, 2-10-03]

In May, over the opposition of state Sen. Joe Neal, the Nevada Senate passed a bill to prohibit people from carrying guns while drunk. Neal argued that the bill would hurt activities of gun clubs, some of which permit drinking during target-shooting socials.

A Reno, Nev., brothel reported in April that more than 100 unmarried Persian Gulf military men had taken advantage of its welcome-home offer of one night on the house (carry-out only). (Management waived its fee but still paid the hostess. Said one woman: "I feel good about the money. And it's patriotic.")

Be sincere; be brief; be seated.
-Franklin D. Roosevelt



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