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Aug. 18th, 2005

I am somewhat baffled at why someone thought it necessary to print "High in protein!" on a package of beef jerky. Um, cause, isn't beef jerky like, um, meat? And isn't meat, by definition, protein? Even given the stupid-rate of people, that seems a little pointless to me.

"Prunes! Now made with more real plums than ever before."

"Raisins. Warning - this product may contain grapes."

I think I need more sleep.

*p.s. - A huge shout-out to ruebert, who came in on a night-off after I 911-text messaged AT 3:30 AM! I love you, dear. Sorry I woke you up.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 19th, 2005 02:23 pm (UTC)
*laugh* And guess what was in my e-mail first thing this morning...
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
Aug. 19th, 2005 04:34 pm (UTC)
Re: *laugh* And guess what was in my e-mail first thing this morning...
Which reminds me of the "take tent out of bag, put tent up" camping trip.

Oy, stupidity hurts my brain.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )



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