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Case in point: At home, reading with one eye and watching a nostalgic episode of MacGyver with the other when the phone rings. Who could it be, you ask? Why, DM, of course, with a "tiny revision" to the schedule. Turns out, she forgot to schedule someone to do the weekend daily. Again. Happened last week, but there was no way I was going to come in for a tenth day in a row. At any rate, I now work three days, have on day off, and then work two more. Was I upset? Kinda. Fed up? Yeah. But whatever my mind thought, the words came out as "Um, okay." Nhurg.

Tonight's on the slow side, sent N. home and had all the jobs run in the first three hours, so I have been relegated to stalking (and stocking) paper. At this rate, I'll end up picking staples from the carpet before dawn. I was, however, slightly cheered up by the conspiciously posted note in the breakroom that mentioned that if we were over payroll too often, DM. could be written up and possibly fired. Gee, did you know that she's hired five people at the start of what are tradionally our slowest months?

Anyway, my days off were spent at the sib's graduation, then house and yard and in particular leaky something sitting, then work. Oh, and ordering a birthday/father's day present for Dad, and activating m'new bank card, as the old got eaten by the ATM. Rather mystified as the new one didn't come with a new PIN, nor did it say anything about a new PIN, so I am hoping very much that the old one will work, even though the card has a different number.

Lessee, talked to the maternal, found out I am on the receiving end of a couch, possibly a table. My uncle's moving out of his house, so he needs to dump some furniture. No word yet on the condition of said furniture, but, hey, it'll go in the basement, anyway. Now I must plan a trip down to Sacremento with the big truck to pick the stuff up.

In futher news, I have decided to leave the Bantha unlocked, and have stowed the keys on the dashboard so as not to, er, "lose track" of them. Said Bantha is usually parked in front of the house all day. All day long. Really. Can't miss it. E-mail me if you'd like to drive by and, um, see it. 'Nuff said.

A belated happy birthday to stormyserenity. An early happy birthday to ruebert, nurikochan, aminomiko, and a really early happy birthday to ebeten. Anything else I've either forgotten or simply not remembered.

Here are some interesting interpretations of nature from test papers
and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high,
high school, and college students around the world.

"When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."

"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"

"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube."

"When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"

"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."

"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."

"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."

"Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."

"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."

"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."

"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

"The body consists of three parts--the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."

"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."

"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."

"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."

"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."

"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."

"Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

"Liter: A nest of young puppies."

"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."

"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."

"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."

"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."

"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."

"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."

"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."

"For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artifical perspiration."

"For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."

"For dog bite: Put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."

"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."

"For head cold: Use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it drops in your throat."

"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."

You are Proverbs
Which book of the Bible are you?

There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed.
~Peter Sellers

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
saendie
Jun. 10th, 2003 08:51 am (UTC)
What's wrong with the Bantha? Did it fully die out?
nurikochan
Jun. 10th, 2003 12:24 pm (UTC)
I don't think so... maybe she's trying to encourage someone to steal it? *laugh* Have you got insurance on it, Theresa?
aniaj
Jun. 11th, 2003 12:25 am (UTC)
Plausible deniability here...
Of course I have insurance. Don't you know it's illegal to drive around in the great state of Nevada without insurance? I would never break the law. That would be wrong.
nurikochan
Jun. 11th, 2003 01:42 am (UTC)
Re: Plausible deniability here...
No... that's insuring YOU... not the car. The insurance you have to pay to drive legally won't get you a red cent if your car is stolen. Trust me, I know... My mother pointed it out with seeming delight when my car was stolen. -.-
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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