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What's the use?

I can't believe it! I am so angry I feel like killing something! I went through all these hoops to get into a photography class because they mande such a big deal about me not being an art major, and by the time they get around to letting me register for it, the damn class is full. Every single section is waiting list only, and I'd be like the 20th person. I hate this. That leaves me with 4, count them, four classes, and none of them is something I'm really looking forward to. Why is it that my luck seems to go from bad to worse? Maybe I should just take the semester off and work. At least then I'd feel like I was doing something productive. I mean, what's the point of going to school if I don't even know what I'm going to do? It's not like I have money to throw away. I called the music department about changing majors, and now I have like 20 forms to fill out, plus I have to find a way to tell my parents that I've basically wasted the last four years. And knowing my parents, that'll be a laugh a minute. I have never wanted anything in my life som much as to leave this whole stupid state right now. I really wish I could just start the whole college thing over far away. I don't even know why I still bother. Lately I've been so unhappy that it's a chore just to go to my stupid classes. Maybe I should just accept the fact that I'm not godd at anything and resign myself to working here for the rest of my life. I'm so tired of pretending for everyone. I feel like such a coward for lying to everyone. My parents still think I'm such a great student. I can only imagine their reaction when this hits the fan. Well, at least they have my brother to pin all their hopes on.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
aminomiko
Jan. 16th, 2002 03:06 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I know exactly how you feel, hon. I've wasted the last four years too. The only reason I'm taking any classes this semester is because Mom wants me to have the health insurance. But if you really want to do photography, then go for it! It's never too late.

And if your parents are staking their hopes on your brother, then they've got problems ahead. *laugh*
veijukka
Jan. 17th, 2002 09:29 am (UTC)
*Hugs* Welcome to the club, hon, none of the rest of us know what we want to do either. We still love you, no matter what. And you haven't wasted this time...you've learned a lot, and education all counts for something sometime.

And you're already a far more successful person than your brother - you're intelligent, thoughtful and you can read!

And I agree with Julie - if you want to do something else, whether it's photography or anything else, now's the time to go with it! You know you can support yourself, because you've been doing it, and you have no dependents. Plus we're all behind you if you need encouragement or a kick in the pants. =)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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