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Wish I were an orphan.

Came over to mom's after orchestra to develop my free roll. I was here most of the morning mixing the chemicals, but they still hadn't cooled by the time I had to leave, so I had to come back. I could have done without this evening. I came in just as mom was storming out, dad a few seconds behind her. Anyway, they sat in the car and argued before mom drove off. I don't know where she went. I don't know what happened, but something happened between her and my grandmother, who's now in her room crying. Dad slammed stuff around for while before he went to a late appointment. Al fled... somewhere. I put the meat that was sitting out in the refridgerator, and I cleaned up the kitchen a little bit. Then I locked myself in the laundry room for about an hour. I hope I did everything right, because I frankly wasn't paying attention. Anyway, the roll needs a half hour of rinsing and then an hour to dry, so I moved to the computer room. The lights are off, and there isn't anything playing, so maybe no one will think to look in here. It's weird. I got here a little after six, and that's usually when everyone's sitting down to dinner. But now it's so quiet. Like no one lives here.
I don't know what to do. I feel like being forced to choose between my mother and my grandmother. I can't do that. I hate fighting. I hate it. I hate the way no one every talks about anything until it reaches the boiling point. All the horrible possibilites are running through my head. My stomach is all tight, and I feel like crying. And it's not like this will change anything. Everyone will ignore it and pretend it never happened, and this horrible tension will remain. The worst part is that nothing I do seems to help. I've talked to both of them, and the fact of the matter is that it's really up to them.
How can anyone not want to be happy? How can she just keep doing what she's doing and not care that everyone else is unhappy?
I just hate it all.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
saendie
Oct. 2nd, 2002 01:30 am (UTC)
I've seen that before in my own parents. You know what happened. I'm here for you Tess.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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