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labor day blues...

Well, I had actually planned on being productive today, but due to my inability to acquire another roll of film, which is in turn due to the fact that both the camera shops in town consider themselves federal institutions and were therefore not open, I ended up alternating between watching my grandmother and the television, which would have been fun since Mom has satellite, except that of all the hundreds of channels she's paying for, the reception was such that the only things that came in were the Disney channel (no, not the good one) and the Learning Channel, which was running an all-day marathon of women in the act of giving birth. (You know, it being Labor Day and all that.) All I can say is that if by some highly unlikely chance I ever capitulate to the cultural phenomena of parenthood, I am so adopting. I don't know what nauseated me more - the "natural", i.e. vaginal birth (as if it's ever natural to shove something the size of a cantelope through there, and kicking and screaming, nonetheless) or the ever-more-popular C section (with the added benefit of a major surgery and the ever-present risk of things going wrong with anesthesia). Maybe I'll just get lucky and the whole maternal instinct process will bypass me completely.

So, can you guess which channel I watched, in between preventing fire, flood and that really annoying crash-bang-clatter?

It being naptime, I shall leave on this high note:

Orcs Deemed More Ineffective Than Stormtroopers
Movie experts today declared that orcs are the least effective Minions of Darkness, displacing Imperial Stormtroopers from the top spot they'd held for a generation. "The inability of stormtroopers to hit the broad side of a bantha from point-blank range is well-documented, but it also must be remembered that they did play a role in the destruction of Jawa transport and the capture of Leia's shuttle," film expert Dwight Greenleaf explained. "About the only way an orc could do you harm is if its severed head fell on you."

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