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In an anthropological attempt to explore and preserve the rare language commonly known as "customer-speak", I've decided to begin an ongiong effort to translate this difficult and often contradictory dialect.
Can you help me?"
Can you do this for me, since I'm (a. too lazy (b. too stupid (c. too lazy and too stupid to try to do it on my own.
Can you show me how to do this?
I know you told me you were too busy to do this right away, so I'll follow you out to express and watch as you do it for me. Same as above, but with a hint more subtlety.
Your machine messed up.
I thought the paper size was merely a suggestion.
OR
I thought the big number "99" on the screen was referring to the year I experienced severe head trauma.
OR
I thought that the ALLWAYS MAKE A PROOF sticker was merely a suggestion.
These copies are blank.
I didn't read the big yellow sign that says PLACE ORIGINALS FACE UP.
OR
I thought the copier could read my mind if I stared really hard at the original in my hand.
I didn't think it would cost that much.
Even though the prices are listed in three seperate places, they somehow escaped my attention.
OR
I only want to pay for the good ones, but I want to keep the bad ones anyway.
OR
You actually charge for copies? What is this, a business or something?

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