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Urgh.

I'm starting to think that taking two classes over five weeks was perhaps not the most plausible idea I've had to date.... I can't seem to ever quite catch up with reading or math hw, and I've never had a problem with readings before... but the sheer volume of the CH reading compressed into a five week course means three chapters a week with all their attendant quizzes and essays is wearing me down. Added to that is the stress of trying to cram a trig course in more or less the same amount of time, the daily hw and quizzes and weekly exams... trying to cram job-searching and interviews in there with orchestra and cello choir chores is starting to become an exercise in postponement. I don't want to cut down on the music stuff because it's such a morale-booster, but I don't know how much longer I can keep everything going as it is; I'm turning into a ditz. I'm behind on the flyers and programs for orchestra, I haven't really sat down and practiced in weeks, my normally minimal housekeeping has sunk to a new low partly because what little time I have is going to keeping my pitiful garden alive. I'm running out of money, too, and I cannot even begin to describe how having to constantly fret over not having enough money makes every other obstacle exponentially more exhausting. I realize that I am where I am because I made some imprudent choices ten years ago, but I don't know if I have the sheer energy anymore to put into correcting those choices. I'm trying so hard to be optimistic, but there are times when I just want to walk away from everything here.

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