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Breaking the goth monopoly on emo...

Feeling as if I'm completely disconnected to other people doesn't really bother me most of the time.

...most of the time.

Being alone is something I've accepted since I was twelve. And honestly? I hardly notice it most of the time.

I don't need to know that there's at least one person in my family who isn't constantly judging me. I don't need a s.o. to hug and to hug me in return; indeed, I rather doubt there will ever be a person I feel safe enough around to let that close to me. I don't need people in general. With a handful of exceptions, social interaction (in person, online, whatever) for me consists of the following: I keep my mouth shut up until the time I say something incredibly stupid and inappropriate. So, I've lived my life for a very long time finding out all of the things I don't need.

Only, sometimes, I really want.

It's Saturday night, and I'm at home, alone, lonely, because I chose to be. How messed up is that?

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
veijukka
Sep. 25th, 2006 01:50 am (UTC)
Not that messed up at all, actually...
*bapbapbapbap*

*hug*

I know all about not needing, but wanting.

I'm housesitting this whole week, and not real happy about it. If you wanted to keep me company, I'd appreciate it. Particularly Wednesday evening. *hinthint* Likely I will be trying to pack Etruscan prehistory into my reluctant brain, but there's free Internet and cable TV and plenty of lamps to read by. I know...sounds scintillating, huh? ;)
stormyserenity
Sep. 25th, 2006 04:01 am (UTC)
You know where to find me if you're lonely. I'm not terribly entertaining but I'm always happy to have someone sit on the floor and watch stupid TV with me.
veijukka
Sep. 26th, 2006 05:38 am (UTC)
What are you doing Thursday? I'll bring a book (or two) and ignore the bad TV. :)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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