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On YooHoo bottles and yodeling...

In a clever ploy to a)kill me, b)maim me, c)emotionally scar me for life, my fellow co-worker employed a fiendish plan involving an innocent-looking bottle of YooHoo and, well, me.
When I fetched my refreshing beverage from the refrigerator where I had stored it Friday night, little did I know that I was the unwitting catalyst that set their diabolical plot into motion. With the addition of a time-delayed device, it was several minutes later that the full scheme became apparrent. While on the production floor, in the process of opening said bottle and acquiring the much-needed sugar fix, disaster struck.
Before delving furthur into this sinister device, let me pause to assure you that I am, fortunately, physically unharmed, allthough the emotional trauma alone will likely take years to fully recover from.
The events that follwed are fuzzy, but I do remember in vivid detail feeling the aweful shock as the bottom of the bottle distentegrated, watching the thick brown contents cascade down to rest in gruesome pools on the carpet, feeling the cold, gritty liquid explode onto my hands, dripping ryhthmically from my limp fingertips that were still clutching at the remains of the bottle.
Drawing on previously unknown reserves of courage, I managed to stave off the onset of shock long enough to methodically collect the forensic evidence and preserve the majority of the bottle's contents with the help of quick-absorbing paper products. Then, and only then, did the full impact of what had happened hit me, and I made a mad dash to scrub the remains of the nefarious conspiracy from my tainted hands.
Now, as I write this, I am truly amazed that I manged to escape physical injury. Unfortunately, I cannot begin to describe the horrifying flashbacks brought on by the lingering eu-de-YooHoo that seems to have embedded itself in my clothes, skin, and shoes, nor can I accurately convey the hideous condition of what can only be described as a crime scene. Even now, the area is covered with gory footprints.
To my co-worker whose evil scheme has left me bloody but unbowed, I can only say that your little plan has failed, and now you have lost the element of surprise...
As for the yodeling, that is a story best saved for a later date.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
veijukka
Mar. 24th, 2002 12:07 pm (UTC)
Um...OK, so a bottle of yoohoo exploded on you. OK...so, where's the crisis?
aminomiko
Mar. 24th, 2002 12:55 pm (UTC)
*giggles behind her paw* I like you, Theresa...
stormyserenity
Mar. 24th, 2002 01:26 pm (UTC)
amusing
I wasn't quite sure what it was saying, but it sure was funny!
(Anonymous)
Mar. 24th, 2002 04:50 pm (UTC)
the bottle of yoohoo I gave you did WHAT??
You're an official disaster! I drank three bottles of that four-pack and NOTHING happened to me! I swear it! Ack, m'sorry! ~rue
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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