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Lead, what to do?

Well, my lesson wasn't a total waste of time, though I do wish I hadn't chosen Bach yet again. How is it that my perception of my playing is so very different than reality? Here I am, zipping through the Courante, having finally gotten all the bowings right, and even attempting some form of musicality, and John's looking at me like I'm from another planet. Apparrently, I screwed a lot of stuff up, and I got the bowings all backwards, AND I had the phrasing totally backward. Why do I even bother? Honestly, I should just grow up and become an accountant. And, to make matters worse, he tells me that I have to play the very same disaster for next week's recital. As if my ego weren't allready the size of an atom. At least I don't have to skip orchestra tomorrow because apparrently there isn't any. Phillip cancelled it, so I don't have THAT guilt hanging over my head. Wonder if anyone'd care if I just stopped going alltogether. Then at least I could hide in my nice, safe little delusions and be happy with my playing.
Ah, the joys of existence.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
saendie
Mar. 20th, 2002 01:08 pm (UTC)
Don't give up Tess, it'll get better. I couldn't play an instrument for my life so you've got that up on me. Hang in there!
veijukka
Mar. 20th, 2002 01:28 pm (UTC)
Hey...keep at it. I enjoy your playing, and with the exception of certain prodigies who certainly must suffer deplorable personality flaws to compensate for their genius, one is not born playing well.

However, I know how you feel. I receieved a letter from my creative writing professor last night about my last story. As I expected, he didn't like it. However, he didn't even bother to write about what was good about it (and there were some good things). No, he spent the entire singled spaced page telling me how bad it was, and what a waste of time it was to read it.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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